From our users: emotional, from mother, at the adult man
All adults separate from the parents and try to lead independent life, to start the families. But often just it seems. At the subconscious level more than a half of adults depend on opinion of mother and the father even then when it is not visible. The dependence of children on parents is usually shown in the form of a teenage habit to do everything in defiance. Such communication is not noticeable to people around, but already adult child understands motives of the act. Doing something forbidden, the person thinks of the family, is afraid not to justify their confidence. And it is called emotional dependence on parents.
In addition, each patient with a similar problem is obliged to learn to love himself first of all. Self-confidence and the forces helps to move away or, at least, to start this difficult process.
For a start it is necessary to become financially independent person that you could leave a native home. It will be the first step on the way to achievement of the purpose. Financial support is a key problem which prevents to move away from parents within admissible norm. You are obliged to find a side job or to reduce the costs in order that was enough for independent life.
If the dependent daughter from mother at any serious decision has problems and mother's silhouette - it means that it is time to deal with this problem will be always on the mind. Constant sense of guilt will not allow to take a step forward for achievement of the purposes.
Naturally, that you respect the parents and you consult on them there is nothing bad. It is even better when in the course of education they could put themselves on one level with you therefore you had a friendly union. Wise people never specify as how to make them to children, they can advise something, put themselves to the place of the children.
Parents will feel that you already grew up and do not need their guardianship which it was required at children's age. But you should not forget that parents are dear people who nevertheless have to participate in your life.
Also for elimination of a problem you are obliged to express the opinion. Show any emotions which you experience: anger, grief, despair when they do something is not right.
It is necessary to carry to the main ways of disposal of dependence:
In science process of separation of the child from family is called separation. Experienced psychologists claim that this process lasts throughout all life, since the birth moment. Responsibility for the child generates alarm. When parents as much as possible devote themselves to the kid, watch that he did nothing, they form fear for the child. They are eager to watch it till the old age. And the child is accustomed that the world is dangerous and not to do it without attention of mother.
Very few people understand how the dependence on parents at adult age looks. Signs of this phenomenon can be the most different. Everything depends at most such communication. Someone cannot devote the life to hobby as mother wanted that he became an economist. Someone refuses favourite people who are not pleasant & #171; предкам». Some arrive always in own way, but feel fault before mother and the father.
It is difficult process which demands psychological support. If you feel dependence on mother or the father, surely listen to councils of professionals.
Every year the parent has to get used quicker and quicker that the child becomes independent and to separate very soon from him. At teenage age it is strictly forbidden to control tightly the child, to forbid it to communicate with peers, etc. As practice shows, the child will do everything only on the evil therefore at strict & #171; воспитателей» more often there are also problems with search of common language with own fumes.
You have to learn to solve the problems without council and the help.
But once again it is necessary to repeat that trusting relationship, the good and strong link to parents is plus for each family. And still sooner or later you have to understand that excessive influence of adult generation has an adverse effect on independent and independent life.
It is worth understanding what depends on education whether the psychological dependence of the son or daughter already in adulthood will appear.
The dependence on parents is a problem of two generations of which the child has to get rid. If to follow all above-stated recommendations, then several months later you will be able already to construct this small, but such necessary barrier. It is necessary to do it extremely accurately that relatives did not think that you despise them and you wish to interrupt with them any communication. As to make it, any experienced psychologist will prompt.
Experts allocated some symptoms of dependence of adult men and women:
Sooner or later the kid has a desire to separate and lead independent life, but this process is limited as the parent cannot present the life differently any more, and it with the child everywhere.
So there is an emotional dependence on mother and on the father at adult age. Both women, and men can be exposed to this dependence.
If you nevertheless have no opportunity to move down somewhere, try to move away at least sometimes from them even in respect of communication. From time to time spend the night at friends, stop to tell parents everything and even more about the private life, and, believe, already later few months you will achieve the first positive effect.
Normal, healthy it is possible to call relationship of children with parents when the child listens to all ideas and the recommendations of mother or father, listens to them, but nevertheless arrives as finds necessary, but not as told. And if your decision does not coincide with opinion of relatives - there is nothing terrible. You have the life and you have to dispose of it. The decision should not spoil the relation with parents.
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